Teachers 12 – 23 Mariners

First of all, check out this photo, it’s bloody hilarious. Scrum cap still on as he is being wheeled into hospital!  I can joke about this as there was absolutely nothing wrong with Robin.  He did come off second best in a clash of heads and the tackle didn’t involve arms so the culprit was lucky that he only went to the bin.

it’s bloody hilarious – according to the BM

Robin stayed down and got taken away in the ambulance so we were all genuinely concerned but once he was discharged from the hospital he joined us out on the piss.  Robin, you are a drama queen so please bring a case to training on Thursday.

This second picture is of Donal, the theatrics that went on after he was kicked on the leg were worthy of a footballer. It was actually quite embarrassing to watch so you need to bring a case to training too. You did succeed in getting a Mariner in the bin but the BM does not approve of that sort of carry on.

Let’s get to the game.  We started sensationally.  Playing into a strong wind we ran it from all angles and after about 9 phases Patrick Richardson galloped in, cutting a great line to the posts for a try.  After that the weather got worse and we got stuck into an arm wrestle with Mariners that we were always destined to lose.

I’ll summarize.

• We gave away a ton of penalties, some of which they kicked for points, some of which they kicked for territory
• This is Donal – according to the … you know who
• They rumbled over for two tries and led 23-6 at half time
• Puppy came on and dropped the first ball he received, he had been put into a hole and though he had half the length of the field to run it’s the sort of thing he is capable of but taking a 3 month break in the middle of a season has an affect and he was clearly a little rusty.
• Less rusty players also dropped the ball.  A lot!
• Conditions got worse to the point it was almost impossible to pass, this suited the 10 man rugby style of Mariners but negated our speed out wide
  

  this is Donal according to .. you know who

• Robin went for an unnecessary ride in the ambulance.
• Aldo scored from the penalty.
• Donal rolled around on the floor after being kicked.
• The final whistle went and Mariners had played the awful conditions better than us.
• Jerry officially became the Worst Coach Ever
• Harry Andrews retired from rugby……we’ll see about that one.

Though disappointed, after the game finished the boys gathered in the changing room and ended up having an impromptu court session followed by a ‘Back to Dessie’s’ session. It was a quality evening!

This week there is no training on Tuesday but our 2^nd Team are playing Yale University on Wednesday and then there will be a big game of Touch on Thursday followed by Donal and Robin’s beers.  Finally on Saturday we are having our bus trip to the East.  Places are filling up fast so you need to pay your money and sign up.

See you up at NSC at 6.30pm on Wednesday to cheer on the 2^nd Team.

BM

Teachers 10 – 6 Police

2nd in the league! After the ups and downs of this season that is something to be celebrated. Despite Harry’s best efforts to completely ruin our chances we managed to hold on and avoid the 3 rd spot, a position that TRFC has never had in living memory.

Once again our preparation was not exactly ideal. 2 minutes before kick-off we still didn’t know what our starting XV would be but with a lot of phone calls and arm twisting done on game day we actually fielded a strong team. Andre persuaded Lubin to show up, T managed to get out of his brother’s wedding and Paddy Calow also strapped on the boots. So despite no Tank, Miles, Antonio or Stephan and despite only 3 players being present 15 minutes before the start of the game we did start with a good XV. Actually it was 14, Patrick Richardson was doing a PJ and jogged across the field as Police were kicking off, needless to say they kicked deep into our right hand corner, exactly where Patrick should have been. Result, our lineout on our 5 meter line, LT having to take over throwing duties, we lose the first of many lineouts, Police lay siege to our line. Thank you Patrick, you complete Fckwit!

With a strong wind behind them Police dominated the first half but as opposed to last week when we rolled over and didn’t put up a fight this time we showed some balls and stuck to the task of defending.

Leading the charge was Robin. He played like a very angry man, perhaps he is SoP, Son of Porter. He fronted up to almost everyone on the pitch, sometimes needlessly but he brought a bite to the team and it was in such contrast to last week that his attitude made him Man of the Match in my books. Robin of course brought some strange little animal into the changing room last week and hasn’t got his case in yet so we’ll enjoy his beer this week. Well played though, it was just what we needed.

Police slotted an early penalty and then missed a couple, with a strong wind in our face and a non-existent lineout we were forced to run from deep. We nearly broke out a couple of times but mainly we just defended. A key moment came with about 10 minutes left in the half. Police had a scrum 5 metres
out after we had held up their big No.8 just short of the line. The No.8 came again and again our back row chopped him down, Police piled in but somehow Harry who had dived in from Full Back managed to smuggle the ball out and we cleared our lines. From that moment on Police did not really threaten our
line.

Halftime, not much possession but only 3-0 down. We’d take that. The wind was now behind us, Robin was vomiting everywhere for some reason, Aldo was rallying the troops in his first game as Captain and Harry was planning the most spectacular display of kicking ever to be witnessed on a rugby field. We
were good to go.

10 minutes in, Paddy Calow dummies and goes before feeding Andre who scores and converts his own try 7-3. Another penalty and we go 10-3 up but that is cancelled out by one for Police 10-6. Now the fun begins!

And finally Harry saved the best for last. With about 3 minutes on the clock and still only leading by 4 points Harry scampered back into our own 22 to retrieve a kick. He had absolutely ages to use the  strong wind on his back and welly it down field. Instead, and I still don’t understand why, he decided
to run it out. Ok still not the end of the world, a bit high risk but Harry has the skills to get past the one solitary chaser……uh oh, no he hasn’t……its ok though, he is bigger than the guy who has scragged his shirt, he just needs to stay strong and wait for the support who are rushing back to help him…..hang
on a minute….he’s about to pass the ball……but the nearest man to him is still 10 feet IN FRONT of him…..no Harry!!!….you’re 42 years old, you’ve been playing the game for years, you know the rules, you have to pass backwards……no Harry no!!……Fvck me he is going to pass it…….fvck me, no! He
did……I don’t believe it….this might cost us the game, 2nd place……Harry you fvcking bellend!

Luckily the club likes beer and you Harry are getting your second case of the report. Also luckily for you we won our first scrum against the head for the entire game and Morrison snaffled the ball and we held out for the win but it was a shocking bit of rugby which rather summed up our league campaign.

Sod it though, we won, the fridge will be full and I’ll see you at training.

After probably the best performance of the year by TRFC a week ago in the victory of the Denton Hurdle Memorial game our level of play came back down to ground with a bump this week. We just about clawed our way to a win but this was ugly rugby.

There were a few mitigating circumstances but the crappy weather and the small Police field was the same for both teams but once again our preparation for the game had a lot to be desired. Stafford just about made it to the game for kick off having rushed off a plane that had just landed, Ken on debut turned up after kick off, Nails came straight off another plane and risking divorce made it for half time and Andre was even later than him, arriving 10 minutes into the second half. All this resulted in three of our senior players who are carrying substantial injuries having to play, well done Harry, Boydie and Greg and a rookie, Jeff who only touched a rugby ball for the first time last week.

Staff, you are excused but though it wasn’t exactly Nails’ fault you are not excused. Bring a case for being late. Andre, you too please for the same offence. And Ken one from you too, you are in fact lucky you are not buying a couple of cases after your inability to catch or hold onto a ball. That’s three cases in the fridge right there and I haven’t even got to the game!

The first half was pretty uneventful, we got on the board first with a try by Boydie but it was cancelled out late in the half and we went in tied at 7-7 with  Antonio having to leave the field on the stroke of half-time. Nails came on and immediately triggered a sequence of shite play. That probably isn’t fair as in the first 7 minutes he touched the ball only once and that was when he knocked on the obligatory Morrison pass to his ankles but in that time Teachers conceded two tries form our own poor play. The first came when young Josh dropped the kickoff to the 2nd half, from the following scrum they rumbled
over to go 14-7 up. Miles’ restart went askew and they then pinned us in our corner until the pressure built and one of their young players wriggled over in a lot of traffic. 19-7. For good measure Aldo, in a jealous fit of rage at seeing someone younger than him score a try, stamped on the kids head. This provoked a brutal response from Police with Aldo emerging with a split lip for his troubles. Fair enough I suppose.

The game did get a bit niggly and while we no doubt contributed we had nothing on their new Fly Half. I don’t know how the Police do it but they have unearthed yet another South African who brings whinging to a new level and that makes The Disco Twins, Hendo, Poms or our own Porter or Greg, sound
like the voices of calm and reason on a rugby field! This guy is emotional. I think he needs a hug from Tank just to calm down a bit. Of course he was helped on his way by the wise-cracking Boydie who suggested he goes and shoots his girlfriend, just like Oscar. That jibe is in poor taste Boydie, the BM does not approve, Oscar was clearly very drunk when he shot his girlfriend……he was legless!!

Anyway, Andre arrived and despite Miles’ best effort to not pass him the ball he managed to score a nice individual try when he collected his own little chip over the defense and then outsprinted the cover to score. 14-19 down. Time was against us but we bought on Lazarus (Hooks Jr.) and the Ginger Ninja
that is Dessie who had arrived in TRFC’s hour of need. Our fresh legs started to hit some rucks and all of a sudden we were getting some good ball and we were stretching the Police. We also brought on Ken Ya for a little cameo who proceeded to entertain the sideline with a little juggling performance that he
had learned at Clown school.

With only a couple of minutes on the clock Miles mistakenly passed to Dessie who was steaming along out wide. Dessie, who if you listen to him will tell you that he taught Brian O’Driscoll how to play Centre, drew the last defender before popping the perfect pass to Andre who scored the winner under the posts. 21 – 19 Teachers. Final whistle. Yes Desmondo!!!!!

Dessie bring a case as this is the only time I will get to fine you all season.

Fellas, we still have to beat Gades and Police just to finish 2nd this year. Let’s finish strong.

See you at training.

BM